Some measure of fear is good to have and provides a barrier to safety. However, there are other forms of fear can be paralyzing and can cause you to stop dead in your tracks. fear of falling will cause you to never hike a mountain. A fear of flying will stop you from traveling the world. The fear of rejection will stop you from following your dreams. A person that fears to be lonely will stay in a bad relationship. Fear will cause you to go the opposite direction of your dreams. Here are 3 tips to identify the fear that is stopping you from loving the life that you live.
Identify the Core of Your Fear
The center of your fear is more than what think. For example, you are not fearful of flying, but you are really fearful of dying in a plane crash. Another example, you are not fearful of getting out of a bad relationship, but fearful of being alone. The core of your fear will show up in multiple areas of your life and prevent you from making concrete choices, moving forward or following your dreams. Try this activity – List your greatest fears on a piece of paper and go back and list why. You will discover that most things on your list lead to one primary thing. Don’t be fooled that you have many fears, a core fear will birth other fears. That thing is the core of all your fears.
Determine the Birthplace of Your Core Fear
Once you identify the core of your fear, you have to determine where that fear was birthed. All fear has a birth place. My core fear was the thought of not being able to take care of myself and my children financially. It was birthed in an abusive marriage, where financial abuse was a primary form used to control. When I was married, we were financially destitute. I had to struggle to feed, clothe, and provide housing for my children. Once my marriage ended, I stressed about money all the time. The stress and fear caused me to be immobile when it came to moving forward with any goal that needed money. Your fear may have been birthed in childhood, a relationship or a negative life experience. All fear has a birthplace and it’s important to know where the fear started from.
Face Your Core Fear
Once you identify your fear and determine the birthplace of your fear, you must face that fear. You can’t move forward until you face the core fear. Fears are there to stop you from achieving your goals and the core fear can expand like a web. This web will paralyze you like a spider web. The core fear is one thing, but other webs of fear prevent you from moving at all.
How do you move forward and avoid getting trapped in the web? Face it! Admit it! You may need counseling or to talk to a close friend about your core fear. Talking about the core fear is the 1st step to facing it. Once you get it out in the open, list action steps to move past the fear. In my case, I told a close friend about my fear and it allowed me to see how the fear spilled over into multiple areas of my life. I faced my fear by taking an expensive class that was needed for my professional development. It was expensive to me and in the past I would have struggled to learn a new skill that would help me financially in the future if I believed that it would leave be unable to take care, my kids. Once I faced the fear, I freely moved forward to invest in my business. The act of investing in my business would generate more income for my family, but fear told me the opposite.
Don’t let fear prevent you from fulfilling your dreams and goals. By facing your fear you could change your life for the better. It’s important to understand what’s stopping you and why. Whether you decide to run past your fears or take baby steps, you have to start somewhere. If you live in fear, you won’t get the chance to live a life that you love at all.
“Everything that you want is on the other side of fear” – George Addair