In 2016 I had a revelation! People don’t like to deal with their fears, issue, drama, or past mistakes. They just want to move on. This occurred to me when I tried to swiftly move on past separating from my husband. In my mind, I was done and it was time to move aggressively forward. However, I learned that sometimes you just have to “Deal with Your S%$#!”
I just wanted to forget about all the hell he put me through. I didn’t want to talk about or think about. In addition, I wasn’t fooling anybody…only myself. So I forged ahead like my life depended on avoiding the issues. So when I finally decided to stop running from my past and face my biggest fear, I became free to fly.
Here are the top 4 reasons for you need to Deal with Your S%$#!
It Affects You Spiritually
When you don’t fell worthy to receive God’s blessings for your life, you live in guilt, fear, and shame. Taking the time to explore your baggage with prayer, meditation, and Spiritual guidance (whatever that is for you) can free you to think differently about your situation. It will change your mindset and open your heart to true change. A change that lasts, not a temporary fix.
It Affects You Mentally
How you think determines what you do. If your past mistakes linger in your mind, you cannot move past the mental roadblock. No matter how hard you try negative thoughts will arise. For example, a family member or friend may have hurt you in the past. Instead of addressing the issue, you decided just move pass it.
Now whenever that person makes a comment or does something that you think is wrong…you remember the first incident. It will play over and over in your mind. The next thing you know you have a running list of offenses from this person. If you are fearful that addressing the issue, will cause more harm. You are right. It causes you harm because they don’t even realize you feel the way that you do.
It Affects You Emotionally
Let’s piggyback on the hurt from a fellow loved one. So you decided not to deal with your issue and you quickly move on. Well, now some innocent bystander gets the emotional s%$# that you should have addressed with the person that offended you. They don’t even get why you are tripping. You can’t even explain what the issue is. Some people live a lifetime with mommy and daddy issues, but refuse to confront the source.
The truth is…It’s painful. What if that person denies it or minimizes it? That can really make you mad. Honestly, most people deny causing you harm. Why? Because they don’t want to “Deal with Their S%$#” either. Isn’t that funny? Nobody wants to deal with the hurt or pain.
Now you are all jacked up! You think you have forgiven them or yourself, but all you did was put a Band-Aid on something that needs major surgery.
It Affects You Physically
Lastly, the lack of dealing with your personal drama affects you physically. You are stressed, spiritually bound up, living a lie and secretly mad as hell. All of the above cause High-Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Cancer, weight gain, weight loss or any other medical condition associated with stress.
It can even affect your personal space. People that are hoarders, usually do it because they have an issue that they don’t want to face.
Maybe you are alone. You didn’t deal with your drama and now you are unpleasant to be around as a result. You want to be the “Life of the Party”, but something is holding you back. Now you are hating on people that dealt with their issues and watching them “Live Life Like it’s Golden”. You are mad because they are successful and happy. You are just mad.
How Do You Deal?
The solution is to just go through the process. If you have to cry, write a letter, take a sabbatical journey, get counseling, join a church or confront someone that hurt you… Just do the work. The pain is necessary to grow. It may take some time and some people may not get understand. They don’t determine the time that you need to deal with your mess. Don’t rush and be strategic in your process.
It will be hard, it will be lonely, it will be hurtful, but in the end, you will be free to truly fly forward.
On A Personal Note…
In 2016, I dealt with my personal baggage. Let me tell you…I cried, I confronted, I prayed and I dealt with the pain. See I thought that I was moving forward, but when I hit a roadblock. This roadblock stopped me dead in my tracks. I gained weight that I had just lost, plus 10 extra pounds. My kids irritated me, I didn’t want to celebrate (holidays, weddings, and birthdays were out) and I began to hate my job. My house was a wreck and my schedule was all over the place. In addition, I had a dream of being a successful writer and speaker, but it was stagnating. My mindset was so negative and I couldn’t shake it. I was suddenly depressed, broke down and burnt out.
I spent the entire last month of 2016 “Dealing with My S%$#!” It was worth every single teardrop. When I was done, my spirit felt free. I was free to forgive, speak my mind and do me.
Thus why my business and outreach is getting a makeover.
My fears were holding me back. Things like what people thought about me or how I would make them feel were preventing me from being who I truly was.
I am so excited about the future that words cannot express my increase energy. The physical, emotional, and mental weight has been lifted. My days are so exciting! I see God’s hand everywhere and I feel so optimistic the plans that he has for me.
If you are not where you want to be, it’s not because you broke your New Year’s Resolution. It’s because you are scared to address your mess from the previous years.
Click the link and download the “Face Fear and Fly” workbook, do the work and free yourself.
Every eagle needs soar and every butterfly needs to float.